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EDITORIALS

Get Ready for a Swarm of Negative Critics This Friday on Pirates 3

by Alex Billington
May 22, 2007

No matter how much you, or your female friend who is in love with Johnny Depp, enjoys the third Pirates of the Caribbean that opens in theaters this weekend, critics around the world will be tearing it apart like a piranha on a fresh piece of meat. Why? Because they're attacking it like it's up for Best Picture at the Oscars and they need to defend why it doesn't deserve the honor, not sitting down, grabbing a bag of popcorn, and enjoying a long and fun flick with a few minor flaws.

You probably already knew it would be coming, but the early word spreading is that critics are giving nothing but negative feedback on Pirates of the Caribbean 3, and I'm here to squash that bug and defend what is truly a great film made for fans, despite what they'll claim to say.

The interesting thing to start, is that it's almost as if I'm predicting the fan's opinions and public response, which I definitely can't do. I know I can usually predict the buzz, which this time I can just about guarantee it will beat Spider-Man 3's opening records, but as to how every last person will perceive it, I can't say anything more than my own opinion. This isn't a review, but a prep and counter-argument for the soon-to-be-arriving swarm of negative reviews from professional critics.

I know quite a few people didn't like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (just look at our own staff member Dave), but the third one takes a giant leap away from the difficulties of that sequel and, although not perfect, becomes a much more solid, almost "return to form" kind of Pirates of the Caribbean film. It's like Matrix Revolutions or Return of the King, where after you see it, it almost makes the second film in the series obsolete or dulls it down enough that we can accept it in our trilogy DVD collections without ever watching it.

The story this, or the character's that, or it's too unbelievable (well are pirates and mythical giant squids believable much to begin with?), it's too confusing, too much exposition, or any number of excuses and critical complaints is all they'll drum up about At World's End. However, they'll all say its got great special effects, it's fun and funny in spots, and compliment it in a few areas, but that's obviously going to be outweighed by so many negatives (here's one that just lists negatives one right after another). I've argued it before, but the harsh critiques these guys give have nothing to say for how you or how the public will take to a film, especially one that is as genuinely entertaining for the regular Pirates fan as this one!

Without watering down this argument too much, it's best I wait until Friday when the film is out and I've had a chance to gauge the opinions of fans and others, including our own Dave. The negative reviews from professional critics will be out there, but that won't have an impact on the film's attendance or anyone's own opinion. This is just how the film industry works nowadays, critics give bad opinions, films make money, the public usually has a differing opinion, and all is well in the world of Hollywood since the studios made their millions anyway. If anything, give Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End more of a chance than these critics will, and look at it for the entertaining blockbuster "popcorn flick" that it really is at its heart.

Filed under Editorial, Opinions

From around the web:

Israel Loya

there are many movies still that criticts have missed on how they are, to me this great and awsom movie will smash those big mouths critics, because they have nothing else to destroy or bring up high some movies. we really dont care about their critics, we are the ones that choose how to jude a move and give a good review just to ourself, i really dont think we need the. I really like your comets about this movie and what you thik is going to happen i fell that we need more of this articles to be prepare of what's coming, thatnks keep up the good work.
Frank

The critics attack both Pirates 1 and 2 but yet they still rank in the money. You know why? Because its us, the fans who know better. Are we looking for a cinama masterpeace? No, we are looking to have fun and the pirates films deliver in spades.
http://screenrant.com Screen Rant

I know that when I review movies on my website I do it for "the regular guy" and not for some pie-in-the-sky "Citizen Kane" type review. You can have a fun movie that's not dumb. As to "the fans who know better"... there have been lots of movies made that are amazingly awful that have made a TON of money. Why? Who the hell knows. I thought the first "Pirates" was pretty fun, but the second felt like it would never end and was too outrageous for me to enjoy (sword fight for miles on a giant spinning wheel with no hint of falling off). At about 3 hours I imagine this one will be hard to sit through. Of course my 10 year old daughter and her little friends are all atwitter about this. Vic
Red

"there have been lots of movies made that are amazingly awful that have made a TON of money. Why? Who the hell knows." Maybe because people liked it.
http://screenrant.com Screen Rant

"People" meaning "teenagers". If I recall I guess I used to really like a lot of schlock back in the day. Vic
http://foshi.wordpress.com Foshi

Berardinelli's review makes Pirates 3 sound like more of same. Really, thats all I was looking for in it anyway. Neither of the other two were outstanding film productions in terms of story or characters, but they delivered the eye candy in spades. And hey, it's summer why not have some dumb fun every once in awhile?
Karen

'People" meaning 'teenagers". If I recall I guess I used to really like a lot of schlock back in the day. Well, the movies would have not made the money it did if only Teenagers saw it. You have a right to feel the way you do and people who like the films have a right to their opinions as well.
Luke

Good to hear. I'll be there Friday!
SubaruDaihatsu

What's that comparison to Matrix Revolutions?! You even mentioned Return of the King in the same sentence as that monstrosity of dung. Wait, are you being sarcastic or critical of AWE?
SS17

Thank you! A critic who actually does not shred the entire series of Pirates! I have quit reading critic reviews altogether because all they do is destroy the movie for all us hard-core fans. I personally thought Pirates 2 was a very good movie, not quite as good as Pirates, but a lot more fun. Then again I suppose since I actually enjoyed Spiderman 3 I will never be taken seriously...
Dave

OH COME OFF IT! This "critics are snobs, their opinion means nothing, its just meant to be fun" argument has got to stop. There are plenty of blockbusters that get great reviews from critics: Batman Begins, Shrek 2, Pixar films, Casino Royale... the list just goes on and on. But they have got to call'em as they see 'em, and Pirates 3 is a bad film. I watched it last night at a packed screening and you could feel the boredom in the room. There are about 5 good jokes, one massive action sequence and an endless series of long talky meetings. The whole point of the critics bad reviews is that THIS ISN'T FUN.... they are not criticizing it because they want high art. Its joyless, completely overcooked drek. WE ALL DESERVE BETTER, don't just swallow everything the studios give you! The first film was pretty good but the sequels have totally lost the plot. I sometimes think people have forgotten what a great summer blockbuster is meant to feel like.
Patty

I saw the film as well and i and the packed theater i saw it with loved it. This film delivers in spades and i can't wait for Pirates 4.
http://www.firstshowing.net FS Dave

Great, now if I don't like it, I'm gonna get TONS of crap for it. What worries me is just how much I didn't like Pirates 2. I'm hoping for a good time and that Pirates 2 is like Back to the Future 2, essentially filler.
David

Actually, I was shocked to see that Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post enjoyed number 3. Mind you I have no respect for his reviews whatsoever. Not since he slammed the Fountain, calling it a love poem for Rachel Weis
Lindsey

First off, I have to say THANK YOU! I've been home for about 2 hours from seeing this. I will say I am an avid pirates obesessed teenager but I can guarantee that if the thrid installment sucked I would admit it. I came home to read the plot and bits of reveiws on the movie's Wikipedia page to find that numerious critics slammed an outstanding hit. It pissed me off at the least. The second one was slightly boring and quite long, but all for good intentions. There needs to be a middle movie in a triliogy like this one so you understand what's going on and that's what Dead Man's Chest was intended for. Now about the third movie. The begining was long and focus on the one child about to be hung was confusing. But of course with no surprise it got better. The critic from Total Film questioned why Tia Dalma could not resurrect Jack Sparrow like she did Barbossa. The critic bascially said that it wasn't explained why she couldn't. Obviously the man is def because Tia Dalma directly tells you why. And the reason he never noticed... because critics are too busy watching the movie to find all its flaws rather than sit back and enjoy the damn thing. Some segments were drawn out but say question why there's so much exposition and rising action has to be the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. There does happen to be a reason why they call it the "rising action." It's supposed to build up the movie to make for a great climax and conclusion and this movie really did it. They had to build it up. If not how boring would the climax be? Super boring. Although the multiple Jack Sparrows and his halloucinations seemed somewhat out of place in the movie they did make for some good comedy and brought out the classic hero that us movie goers know and love. As I was leaving I heard nothing of negative remarks. To end this, if you liked 1 and 2, you will be more than pleased with 3. At World's End makes for the perfect finish to one of the best trilogies ever released.
Mandy

Alex, you are absolutely true. I can honostly say (I'm glad to see you .. oh wait that's a DMC-line sorry) that I am a huge fan of PotC, have been for years. I've looked forward to every new movie and especially to the last one. Though eventhough I am a big fan I don't just love everything that PotC and except everything they put on screen :p At Worlds End was so much better then Dead Man's Chest. Dead Man's Chest was okay, entertaining, funny at times and overall just a nice story to look at but in this trilogy it is the worst and that's no secret :p At Worlds End is not just a sequel to Dead Man's Chest. When I watched the movie last wednesday it was actually very relieving to see that the makers of Pirates had found their magic again. No more too comical jokes or actions like in DMC, no more too loose stories that didn't make sence. This movie was put up well together, very well. And indeed, it has a few flaws. I mean, Tia Dalma, great idea what they made of her but turning her in the end into a giant-big-foot, that's in my eyes one of the flaws But let's face it, what movie doesn't have small flaws? And noone ever said AWE was going to be the most perfect movie, that's what everyone else might have made of it :p I really think that with AWE the actors, the directors EVERYONE that worked on the movie tried to make a good last part for the fans. And to me that's what they did right
piglet

Thank you, Dave (11). There's one thing that is more stupid than saying a movie must be bad if the critics don' like it - and that is saying a movie must be good if it makes big money. This movie is a blockbuster and it's bad, boring and stupid most of the time. This is what most viewers think (look at rottentomatoes), even if some won't admit it. And yt more people will go and watch it, just so that tey have seen it. After all, it's the grand finale of the trilogy. But they won't be satisfied at the end, most of them. - Well, enough. I wonder whether anybody noticed that the opening scene of the movie was sort of a comment on the War On Terror? It appears to me that the scene was meant to be significant for the story (it is the only attempt at providing a sort of moral justification for the rest) and yet not a single of the US reviews that I read even mentioned it. Some non-US reviewers did comment on it though. Does anbody think this is interesting?
kay Fonder

I really don't care what Critics say, what they like, are some of the Movies I say What???? This is GOOD??? NO Don't care for it!! This is what upset me , Do you know how many people don't even KNOW who The Flying Dutchman ,Calypso, or most of the Pirates where? People read a BOOK on your History, befor going to the Movie than you'll understand!! What, if the Movie doesn't have Rap Music, slag that you don't even understand , unless your raised like that. Toppless girls in thongs, and Thugs capping off others it isn't worth seeing? What about the SLASHER movies, I'm sick of even seeing the trailers. And Yes I would go see Pirates 4 .