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Bad Screenwriters Hired For xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

by Alex Billington
November 17, 2008

Columbia Pictures is moving forward with xXx: The Return of Xander Cage and has hired writers Michael Ferris and John Brancato after hearing a pitch last Friday. Ferris and Brancato's past films include The Net, The Game, Terminator 3, Catwoman, Primeval, and the upcoming Terminator Salvation. They're definitely not new to this industry, nor are they most talented writers (Catwoman?!), so this doesn't exactly make this reboot look any better. We've neglected writing much about this franchise before, but I thought this update was worth mentioning - just to emphasize how bad this will probably be.

As previously announced, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage will be about the return of the first Xander Cage and star Vin Diesel again. Hack director Rob Cohen (of Stealth and The Mummy 3) will also be back to helm this reboot. I'm amazed that we can even call it a reboot, given it was only three years ago that xXx: State of the Union hit theaters, but I guess that's how Hollywood works (or maybe it is just a sequel). That's about all the energy I can dedicate to this project, because the more I write about it, the worse and worse it gets. Time to stop now while I'm ahead. Why won't this franchise just stay dead forever?!

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Peloquin

Maybe Ferris and Brancato have mended their ways and this will turn out halfway decent... It was hard for me to type that without laughing because I know it'll probably be very bad, but after watching "Heckler" I'm in the mood to give less than popular film makers a chance. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on "Heckler" too Alex if you can find some time in your busy schedule to check it out...pretty funny.
big r

I have never seen any of the XXX movies, it doesn't seem like I'm missing anything though
BahHumbug

^You aren't
Jont

they will get teh job done. dont blame them for catwoman that was doomed from the beginning. like any eddie murphy movie.
http://www.bleepinggeek.com Pete the Geek

Haha - sadly I think these guys are the perfect choice for this movie. They're the best writers I can think of to write a lame, cliche-ridden flop of an action movie with ridiculous setups and hammy dialog - exactly the kind of movie that xXx fans appreciate.
Erivas

Alex, Please stop writing about this movie if you are going to say things like "Why won't this franchise just stay dead forever?!" You have already mentioned in previous post that you have not watched this film. You have also mentioned that you never will, so why does that qualify you to review it a movie that has not been made yet? Sure we can guess that it's going to be bad if bad writters are involved, that part of the news is totaly valid and it being reported is much apprecited. I liked the first one. It was an OK popcorn flick, the second one was lame. I am not really all that excited about this one, but I will reserve judgement till trailer comes out, and if that does not work, I will wait till a reliable review and or the word of mouth machine kicks in. I disapprove with your "gut reaction" reviews. At the risk of mixing serious news with movie news, you are being no better than something like fox news that tries to sway opinions with their own agenda, by interjecting opinions. Yes, I know that you are a reviewer and this site's bread and butter is talking about movies and providing analysis, which is the reason I enjoy coming hear over ain't it cool news ( A site that has lost it's way and I only visit a few times a month), but I really dislike dishonest opinions. keep your integrity and credibility intact man. stop with the "Gut reaction" reviews, let nature take it's course on this one.
Alfredo

The same writers from T3 are the ones for Salvation??? Oh crap, why did no one tell me that? And here I was, having high hopes for it. Oh, and yeah, my friends dragged me to watch XXX opening weekend. It was over the top, but not overly so to be cool like Shoot Em Up. At least there was a sexy purple Pontiac GTO to drool over.
darrin

i actually feel this 3rd one will be great. i didnt like part 2 but give the third one chance
Brad

I am in no way defending this movie, but the fact that you instantly call out these writers and this director, but give nothing but praise for people like Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor makes you a bad person.
Chris

Well i dont think we should automatically tune out because of Ferris and Brancato being hired as writers. The Net, The Game, and T3 were all solid movies athough rather generic. The thing im worried about is Rob Cohen. After seeing him butcher The Mummy 3 im not really looking forward to seeing XXX 3. Even though Vin Diesel is back as Xander Cage (who was supposed to be dead according to Stateof the Union) and he will hopefully be driving that blue GTO. But im not getting my hopes up
j money

XxX is a popcorn flick... Nothing more, Nothing Less. What made it fun was the fact that it was like an over-the-top Bond meets the x-games and had cool gadgets & cars with big action sequences. Are we really expecting Oscar contention? I'm in, and I'm definately not lowering the bar however I am willing to take the movie for what it's worth when I go to see it. Not to poo-poo on anyone else, but that's also the mind-set and what I liked about the mummy movies.
Potter15

I tink dat shit will be bad ass. Diesel was way better than ice cube in xXx!
http://myspace.com/mysideoftheinstitution Zach

I dont think Vin Diesel is a bad actor, contrary to a majority vote. He just gets these shitty parts because he can't seem to find that break he really needs. If this is going to be good whatsoever, at least let it be better than Ice Cube, who truly never needed to be in any other film other than Three Kings. And even THAT is arguable.