Bob $tencil Blog - How To Grow A Moustache
by Alex Billington
July 18, 2008
A few weeks back we officially announced that the legendary Bob $tencil would be featured exclusively here on FS.net throughout Comic-Con next week (right at: firstshowing.net/bobstencil). As a final teaser before we fly to San Diego to kick off Comic-Con, Bob shows us in this video today how to grow a classy moustache just like the one he has. You probably all know that his moustache is truly what defines him. Without it, he wouldn't be the insanely classy and wonderfully quirky ex-pilot that he is! In addition to the video today, Bob writes his first blog titled Hello, My Name Is: Bob $tencil. Dig It! If you're getting excited for our Comic-Con coverage next week, this is definitely the first place to stop.
Watch Bob $tencil's How To Grow A Moustache Video:
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Hello, My Name Is: Bob $tencil. Dig It!
In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I have been turning over in my mind ever since. "Stencil, my boy," he told me, "if you can smell it before you can see, head for the hills."
As a kid growing up on Delancy Street and working very hard for very little money, I couldn't see success but goddammit I could smell it. And that tangy dark smell came wafting on a southwest breeze. At the tender age of 15, my quest for the source of the aroma found me heading west in the belly of a Braniff Air DC-10. A layover in Denver had me and the pilot bellied up to the airport bar sharing laughs over one too many cocktails. That's when the pilot taught me an important lesson in responsibility. "Stencil, my boy," he told me, "I'm drunk. You're flying." Four hours later, I was on final approach into LAX; a stewardess on my lap, a cocktail in one hand, the plane's yoke in the other. That's when I saw it. Out the starboard side of the plane, the golden rays of the setting sun exploded off of nine letters perched atop the hills my father must have been talking about. The nine most glorious letters I had ever seen in my life: H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D. Since then I have been covered in it… that smell… that sweet smell of fame, fortune and success!
In short time, I became Braniff's star pilot and pilot to the stars. I ferried celebrities around the world. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Andy Warhol, Charles Nelson Riley, a pre-treasonous Jane Fonda. You name ’em, I flew ’em. I remember one evening I was flying The Beatles across the pond. We were all grooving in first class and had just tasted a little Dr. Hoffman's finest. I took a look out the window to gaze at the night sky and just off the wing I saw Lucille Ball, in the sky, with diamonds. John saw it, too. As I recall, he wrote a song about it called "I Am the Walrus".
In the late 70's, that pussy Jimmy Carter delivered the kiss of death by deregulating the airline industry. The Greyhound crowd took to the sky, Braniff folded in 80's, the FAA discovered I had never had a pilot's license in the first place, and yours truly was out of a job. I had the support of my Hollywood friends and was soon back on my feet entertaining the southwest as a Vegas lounge act at the Coconut Mountain Lodge, a poker instructor, and a brief stint on television.
For several years, I have been MC'ing for that swinging surf rock band, The Montsers From Mars, and providing Peabody nominated* coverage of San Diego's Comic-Con International. This year, I am teaming up with FirstShowing.net to provide my audience with unprecedented access to the weird world of heroes, hotties and hentai. So keep your interweb tuned to FirstShowing.net and get ready for another year of swinging entertainment.
Dictated Not Read,
*Bob Stencil has never been nominated for anything and probably never will.