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Don't Watch: Official My Bloody Valentine 3-D Trailer

by Alex Billington
October 24, 2008
Source: IGN

As expected, here's the terrible trailer to go along with that awful poster from yesterday. The first (and hopefully only) trailer for My Bloody Valentine 3-D has everything that a horror flop-in-the-making should have: random girls in bikinis, masked villains with deadly weapons, dark scary places, and fake 3D scenes to try and convinces audiences to actually pay to this pile of crap. Really? I've already exhausted all my energy in angry opposition to this movie in my rant on the poster, so I've got nothing left. Special thanks to IGN for premiering this trailer. I rarely say this, but this trailer really is not worth watching.

Watch the trailer for My Bloody Valentine 3-D:

My Bloody Valentine 3-D is directed by Patrick Lussier, a long-time horror editor and director of Dracula 2000 and White Noise 2: The Light. The screenplay was written by Todd Farmer (Jason X, The Messengers) and first-timer Zane Smith and is a remake of the 1981 classic horror flick of the same name. Lionsgate is debuting My Bloody Valentine 3-D in theaters everywhere on January 16th, 2009.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D Poster

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Darrin

hahahahaha
Spike

I will not watch this trailer..!
ryan

Looks like fun and is rated 'R'.
Max Russian

Yes... loooks really dumb.. Nothing says date movie like a 3d movie to hell.. what the hell kind of line is that?? always wanted to see a scary movie in 3D but cmon.. this looks like the worse trailer i have seen this year?!! WAT do u guys say?? WORST TRAILER OF THE YEAR?? YES OR NO?? if not which is worst then this one?
Curtis G

I would say Disaster Movie.
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

Wow, it actually calls itself a date movie? I would love to see that kind of honesty in the trailer for something like "Bride Wars." "Hey, guys. Take your date to this and you might get laid!"
CK

What would make this movei worth watching is if the items that come off of the screen in 3D actually came off of the screen. Lock all the patrons in the theatre and randomly kill half of them with the 3D effects. Honestly thought this does have one thing going for it. Its not Jaws 3D.
REAL6

WOW, one of the worst horror movies ever!!! Just put the original out but directors cut. That movie was the shit when i was a kid!!!
http://www.zigwa.com james

hey it's dean winchester!
http://www.marketsaw.com Jim Dorey

ZZZZZZZZ Same ol', same ol' here. No sense in talking sense into you! I will just wait for the box office to speak up, then I might come back to rub it in some. Ah yes, that just might be the ticket...
IK

I hope this ends up being great.
http://www.firstshowing.net Alex Billington

A big box office return doesn't mean jack shit to me Jim! You know that... Just because it makes a lot of money doesn't prove anything. That only proves that dumb American audiences can be suckered into paying money at their local cineplex to see this crap when they should be spending that same money on other better movies. Giving this movie money just means more of this crap will be made for years to come! Please make it stop!!
http://www.marketsaw.com Jim Dorey

Hahaa - maybe I am being too hard on you guys, but seriously - its time to look at 3D as the future. Money is the bottom line Alex. It DEFINITELY tells you two things: One, that the audiences love the show - or they simply would not pay it. Doesn't matter what critics think - if the people pay their hard earned money for it - it means they enjoy it. Simple. If it bombs - the people have spoken too. Works both ways. Some movie blogs panned JOURNEY and it still was a success. Second, money means that the studios will be around to make more. 3D will save the studios in the short and mid term until we all have 100" HD3D screens in our living rooms. We need 3D, it delivers and it is a superior experience when done right. I'm not saying this movie will be perfect, but I am saying I haven't seen it yet and I have high expectations. I would think that you would say, I haven't seen it yet and I have low expectations. But to pan the movie in advance of seeing it? I posted this on another thread, but thought I had better post it here too: Soderburgh, Cameron, Jackson, Spielberg, Burton, Lucas, Zemeckis, Aja, Stiller, Selick, Bruckheimer, Romero, McCallum, Jane, Dante… ALL have 3D projects. ALL future tentpole animated movies from PIXAR, DREAMWORKS ANIMATION and DISNEY will be in stereoscopic 3D. That paragraph right there should steer you straight. If it doesn't, I think you probably have Roger Ebert syndrome (which used to be a good thing).
harrison

hahahhahaha looks so terrible, why arent they putting it out on valentines day so you can take your date on a ride to hell? the only thing that would make this good if they went all out with the 3D effects like during the explosion scene they pump real flames into the theatre and fry all the idiots who paid money to see this
http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4120/sppunx06oa5.jpg Crapola

I'd love to see that, how do they make the flames come out the screen? Plus Dean Winchester will kill him within the hour...
Bezelbub

I love the reverse marketing that is done on this site. OMG don't watch the trailer that I am going to post up on the site for everyone to see.
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

I was thinking recently about the box office success of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and you know what would have made it even better... 3D.
http://www.skonmovies.com/ Sean Kelly

I'd rather watch that movie Valentine (with the villain in the Cherub mask) than this (which doesn't look to have anything to do with Valentine's Day other than the day)
Dusty

Jim, I love your defenses over this.. and I support you on the 3D crusade... I would love for people to look past the craptastic 3D effects they illustrated in the trailer and tell me what is so different than other horror trailers you have seen???? I know we have some filmophiles here that would love to get on a rant beyond that of the 3 scenes with the fake effects coming off the screen.
http://www.aytemir.com Tschai

Hmmm..."random girls in bikinis". Now, that would make a great film(tiltle)
http://movieguyreviews4u.blogspot.com Ryan

Sorry, but this looks entertaining. I guess this will be infront of SAW V this weekend? #9, i thought the same thing two. Sam Winchester is in the other horror one coming out too!
Nick

Alex, unfortunately, by posting this video you are aiding in the marketing of this film. Why don't you put your website where your mouth is and just not post anything about it at all. I agree with Jim. 3d is going to be very popular in the near future. Crap movies like Polar Express, are made into at least watchable spectacles with the process. And really, I don't see how this movie is any worse than half of the other films promoted on this site.
wm

The original was just as goofy.
Kail

This actually doesn't look any different from any of the slashers from the past 20 years... in all honesty I think 3D will only make it better than all of those slashers.
http://www.tikiwebgroup.com tiki god

I honestly can't follow how you figure what movie is good or not. You think the new Bond is awesome and this is bad? really?
http://www.zengrrl.com Michelle

The first one scared me when I was a kid -esp the laundry scene - but what was the point in remaking this in the first place? That said, I was actually looking forward to at least checking it out based on the posters in the lobby at ShowEast last week. Now seeing this consumer poster and trailer...blech. I hate having to wear those stupid 3D glasses-gives me a headache. Not to mention did Friday the 13th 3D not teach anyone about horror and 3D? LOL And the poster plus the ending of that trailer just make this movie look so laughable. * sigh * Another great b-horror movie screwed up by a needless remake. Given that they're also doing Friday the 13th, I wonder how long it takes before they get their hands on The Burning.
Conrad

Well said, Alex....well said.
max

Haha, that looked so stupid. BUUUUT! thats gonna be hell scary! Wanna go see it tbh. Hate these 3D movies, but they havent really done anything special yet as 3D. This might be a good start for the future But i doubt we will see any good (GOOD!) 3D-movies in our lifetime
JL

I don't think anybody really likes this crap. I think they just want a reason to throw away the money that's burning up their pocket. Shit, shit, shit, shit, miserable shit. But what do you expect from LIONSGATE? They churn out cheap crap multiple times a year. As long as they find people willing to spend money on it, they'll keep muddying the waters with their movie diarrhea. I'm with you on this one, Alex.
Horror maniac

What is everyone talking about? I can not wait for this movie! I get the cheesy factor of the poster and the audience getting their hair burnt off in the trailer, but really nothing does say date movie like a 3D ride to hell. That being said, Jaime King is hot, who wouldn't want to see her running from a masked miner? And what fun to have a horror flick in 3D, finally! That should make me jump a few times to say the least. Watch the trailer cause its pretty sick, and if you can take a step back and think about what 3D will do for the horror genre you might see this film in a different light.
JSwanson

Hey Alex, Why don't you wait to see the movie before you start bashing it? It just makes you look like a fanboy idiot.
janeDoe001

I agree with JSwanson. This looks like it could be quite enjoyable. Who knows, maybe people will have to appologise for the insults like people had to do to Michael Bay when he made the 2007 Transformers movie a huge hit! jD001
Louis

Worst Slogan Ever. Bad Film, but interesting though...
Scott

What's the matter with you people ?I loved the original and I think this looks great. Love the way the tension builds towards the end of the trailer and the atmosphere of dread. A true horror fan here, that's glad to see the swing back to gritty horror instead of teenbopper pap like Scream.
joINCanada

saw it last night we were not expecting much but we actually really enjoyed this movie! give it a try you might actually like it, the effects were really good
Movie Lover

As a huge fan of "Supernatural" I am all over this movie. Most horror/slasher picks are no works of art. But with Dean Winchester in it...I'm sold. In fact, I told my husband this is what he is taking me to see on my birthday! So will be one of the 'idiots' in the audience, and I can hardly wait!
Evan

This movie was actually quite better than I thought it would be. the 3-D was awesome with all the bloody scenes. And i liked how there was LOTS and LOTS of killing. haha the naked girl part was kind of awkward though because everyone was laughing at that part. they should DEFINATELY make a second one because the ending leaves you on a cliffhanger. I hate those.