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Rant: Appalling My Bloody Valentine 3-D Poster!

by Alex Billington
October 22, 2008
Source: UGO

This is why I hate 3-D movies! Lionsgate has unveiled an atrocious new poster for My Bloody Valentine 3-D. Why is this post so bad? It glorifies everything about the gimmick of 3-D, playing more off of the idea that "things" will pop out of the screen and scare you than actual high quality movie making. As much as I disliked Journey to the Center of the Earth last summer, this has just shot to the VERY top of my short list of films I am completely opposed to. Did Lionsgate eventually realize that My Bloody Valentine 3-D was going to flop bad anyway and decide to then salvage whatever they could by selling the 3-D elements of it to audiences? Whatever the case, I'm very unhappy with this poster and this movie.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D is directed by Patrick Lussier, a long-time horror editor and director of Dracula 2000 and White Noise 2: The Light. The screenplay was written by Todd Farmer (Jason X, The Messengers) and first-timer Zane Smith and is a remake of the 1981 classic horror flick of the same name. Lionsgate is debuting My Bloody Valentine 3-D in theaters everywhere on January 16th, 2009.

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Related categories: Opinions, Posters

OAKside

This is up there with Chihuahua topping the box office. Shameful U.S. of A. films, production co.'s and tasteless, sucker general public that fuels it all. I don't want to spend any more time pondering our atrocious posters and cover art...
TBone

I agree with you on this one...looks more like an advertisement for a 3D movie theater than for a movie.
L

I thought this was a advertisement for a theme ride at Universal Studios...
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

#2 and #3 hit it right on the head. This is is a *terrible* poster design. 3D might give you a jolt from time to time, but why is EVERYONE in the audience spilling their drinks and popcorn? That's just stupid. That said, I don't think this poster should give you a reason to hate 3D. That's like saying the poster for White Chicks makes me hate cameras. 3D is a tool, like anything else. It can be applied well or badly depending on the operator of that tool. If anything, this hack job poster is just another clear signal that Lionsgate is one step above Troma Films for bottom of the barrel entertainment and hucksterism.
tzarinna

It screams desperation to me, not that I think this poster will help fill seats but...yeah, that's how I see it. I still like 3D movies, not sure I'll be seeing this.
http://killsmedead.com Liz

The poster is terrible, but since the movie looks pretty cheesy and gimmicky itself it seems only too appropriate.
http://www.marketsaw.com Jim Dorey

LOL you guys are hilarious! (What, you have a hairy ass?) No, I said HILARIOUS! The poster is designed to draw in it's audience! For this round, it is clearly aimed at teens on dates! This is the type of movie they want and you think it will bomb? REALLY? Got news for ya. This movie will wipe the floor with ANYTHING that is out at the same time and do it on less screens. Same goes for BOLT coming out next month. It really is quite funny to watch you guys react to the new medium and desperately try to claw back to what you think movies should be like. I think the poster is >> BRILLIANT << and plays perfectly to their targeted demographic. And believe me, Lionsgate isn't thinking oh, no, what will the old guard movie blogs say? Sorry. They are going after the money. And they will get it. Cause this movie is going to seriously kick ass.
Spudgun

There's only two things that pop out at me in this 3D poster
http://screenrant.com ScreenRant.com

Alex, You know I'm a supporter of 3D, but this poster (and apparently, the movie) represent everything gimmicky I *hate* about the format. Vic
http://www.marketsaw.com Jim Dorey

Not you too Vic! It's a horror flick. It is ok in my books to use gimmicks in horror - the same way it is ok to have someone jump out in 2D and they amplify the sound something horrendous just to scare audiences. That is a gimmick and horror uses it. I am not saying all 3D movies should be gimmicky - I am 100% against that. I am saying that horrors and some comedies can and SHOULD use 3D gimmicks to heighten the tension and scares. I guess I am giving up on commenting further. 2009 is the year where we shall see some truly awesome work in 3D - I will put those movies up to speak for me instead.
Bob Black

With the latest release in the pathetic "Saw" franchise, is anybody really surprised by Lions Gate? They make almost total garbage for films.
Kail

3D posters these days are usually extremely fly like the Journey 3D poster, which was lenticular. That was a good use of 3D
Dusty

and yes... I have seen couple clips of this already... and GRRRR... let me say there is a perfect reason to have the poster this way... they are glorifying the 3D and telling you exactly what you will see... you will see the shit flying at you... DUH... why get up in arms about this. A 3-D horror flick.... of course it is going to be the tacky, 'everything' flies at you stuff. And it is not like that is a new idea for the Horror genre, Jaws3D, Amityville3D, and Friday the 13th Part 3D. Guess what, we have seen this idea played out before. Then again, we have seen every damned horror story idea 15 times in different other movies. Each time with a different gimmick, or maybe there is a better way to characterize 3D in use in Horro films, A DIFFERENT WAY TO SCARE YOU.
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

Does anyone think #7 might be a little biased considering he operates a web site dedicated to 3D movies?
Staatz

#7: "old guard movie blogs" really, is that how fast things are moving? ... speachless...
http://www.marketsaw.com Jim Dorey

Guess you want to draw me back into huh? @ TOM B Yep I am biased. But I will stand behind the bottomline of these movies - they will make a ton of money. And they will be enjoyable. @STAATZ Of course things are moving fast - where have you been? There is over $1 Billion being spent on Digital and 3D conversions over the next few years!!! Yeah - Old Guard. That means - not wanting change and happy with the status quo. Oh and of course it is spelled speechless.
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

I don't think anyone (except maybe Alex) is balking at 3D as viable filmmaking technique. But in the case of My Bloody Valentine, it's kind of sensationalistic - an abuse of the technology. I mean, so what if there's been over a billion dollars invested in digital and 3D conversions if there isn't a story there to back it up? Visual presentation is important, clearly. But, by your logic, "How To Marry A Millionaire" should have been a big hit because it was the first movie to be shot in CinemaScope. Comparatively, Gone With the Wind and The Wizard of Oz were two films that popularized Technicolor in the 1930's, but they're not classics because of that technology. They are classics because of their enduring themes and characters. Technology should serve the story. Not the other way around.
Al

OMG I CANT WAIT!
http://movieguyreviews4u.blogspot.com Ryan

It does look like a theme park ride poster, but isn't this what this movie will be? I actually find the poster very exciting and face it, YOU THOUGHT MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D WOULD BE GOOD?!?!?!?!?!
http://movieguyreviews4u.blogspot.com Ryan

It does look like a theme park ride poster, but isn't this what this movie will be? I actually find the poster very exciting and face it, YOU THOUGHT MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D WOULD BE GOOD?!?!?!?!?!
Dusty

Of course I did Ryan#20... hahhahhaha... actually... I expected it to be a mix of 3D crap flying at me and blood everywhere.... slasher horror in 3D, I beg anyone to tell me how there is any way to turn that into a masterpiece and not because of the 3D becuase of the story and the studio that is putting it out. Then again, I had a blast watching the clips with shit flying at you.. and you all will too that actually go to see it. Yes gimmicky, yes probably be a crap story line, and yes lots of blood... but that is what I regard the gimmicky slasher horror genre to be anyways.
Defeatedfrog

Nothing like a miner’s pick to the balls to discourage you from seeing this movie. I think maybe the poster maker doesn’t like men very much…LOL I’ll pass on this one. Besides, the original was great.
Darrin

i saw the trailer on ign. they even made it look like a theme park ride.
twispious

3d glasses have come a long way they look so much less dorky now
djac

I agree with #7, and after having seen the movie today -- first 3D movie I've ever seen in my 30+ years -- having it in 3D does make it a better *visual* movie, but it would still make a pretty decent 2D movie. As for the poster, it's marketing, marketing, marketing. I wouldn't have wanted to see this movie in 2D.