They're Remaking Red Dawn?! Shame On You MGM!
by Alex Billington
July 9, 2008
Wolverines! One of my personal favorite untouchable cult classics is Red Dawn, the 1984 movie about Russia invading America. Guess what - Hollywood is remaking this one, too. Oh hell no! I'm sure no one is surprised to hear that it's MGM (who is also remaking RoboCop and Hellraiser) who is bringing this back from the dead. There is really no way I can see this turning out great, but let's see who's involved first. Screenwriter Carl Ellsworth, of Red Eye and Disturbia, is writing the screenplay, while Dan Bradley, a second unit director and stunt coordinator on films like The Bourne Ultimatum, Spider-Man 3, and Quantum of Solace, will be directing his first feature film. Any chance it could be any good? I doubt it.
Ellsworth explains his plans: "The tone is going to be very intense, very much keeping in mind the post-9/11 world that we're in. As Red Dawn scared the heck out of people in 1984, we feel that the world is kind of already filled with a lot of paranoia and unease, so why not scare the hell out of people again?" Because you don't fix what ain't broken! For those poor souls who aren't familiar with the amazing Red Dawn, the film begins with Russian paratroopers landing outside of a school in Colorado. They then presume shoot up the entire place except for a group of four teenagers who flee to the mountains who then rally and fight back. Absolute brilliance. Red Dawn was one of Patrick Swayze's greatest roles of all time, too!
Considering Ellsworth's description sounds like they're going to modernize it (maybe China or Iraq will invade instead) and turn it into an explosively cheesy and entirely unnecessary re-imagining, I'm really not at all looking forward to this. I love the original Red Dawn so much, not because it's a masterpiece, but because it's so perfectly low quality that it's more entertaining than anything we've seen all this year. Unfortunately a remake means they're not going to keep that same campy aspect from the original. Instead, it's going to be turned into a film designed to attract high school teens for opening weekend and that's it. Shame on you MGM! Why are you ruining so many of my childhood memories?!