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Don't Watch: Trailer for Jackie Chan in The Spy Next Door

by Alex Billington
October 16, 2009
Source: Moviefone

There's a reason why this is being dumped in January - because it looks as bad as if not worse than the atrocious Paul Blart: Mall Cop. The Spy Next Door is a new comedy from Lionsgate (wait, I thought they made horror movies?) starring Jackie Chan and, well, a bunch of annoying kids. This looks like it may be one of the worst movies of next year. It's got a bunch of stupid CGI spy toys, the obligatory and racist fight at Benihana, all kinds of cheesy physical comedy and other stupid gags. Really, this is the bottom of the barrel of the comedy world. But just like Paul Blart, it's probably going to a lot of money. Damn you, Lionsgate!

Watch the trailer for The Spy Next Door:

While babysitting his neighbor's children, a normally mild-mannered double agent spy (Jackie Chan) winds up having to fight off secret agents after one of the kids inadvertently downloads a secret code.

The Spy Next Door is directed by Brian Levant, the same guy who brought us such disasters as Beethoven, The Flintstones, Jingle All the Way, Snow Dogs, and Are We There Yet?. The screenplay was written by Jonathan Bernstein (Max Keeble's Big Move, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector), James Greer (Max Keeble's Big Move, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector), and Gregory Poirier (See Spot Run, A Sound of Thunder). Lionsgate is bringing The Spy Next Door to theaters on January 15th, 2010 early next year.

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DJ Sil3nt

LOL @ everyone listening just cause you say not to watch it. I sat through Friday The 13th cause of how good you said it was.
Kear

video not available
http://www.firstshowing.net Alex Billington

#2 - And what is that supposed to mean... I take it you didn't have a good time watching Friday the 13th? Everyone has their own opinions about every movie, I can't be right about everything! But I can tell you this looks like complete and utter crap.
dee

LOL, Alex , you mean to tell me this isn't Billy Ray Cyrus's breakthrough role! Oh my god, this isn't crap this is diareha at it's worse.
Shelby

Which is worse, this movie or that stupid tooth fairy movie with the rock?
Pricetag

high five Shelby
Sabes

............................................... D: After spending my time looking like that during the trailer, my second thought was: someone sucked some good dick to get this crap made.
DNote

Hey! Does anyone remember when Jackie Chan movies were watchable? And dont give me that "its a kids movie" bs. Didnt Vin Diesel already do this movie anyway?
Madnezz344

i just hope the karate kid remake that jacki is in does not look like this piece of wasted time
Miracle Disease

I'm a fan of Jackie since I was a kid and since his younger days movies... but for this movie, I think I'll watch this selectively... will just skip to the action sequences hoping there's something new... *sigh*
Tra la la la la di da

Didn't they make this already? Is this a sequel to The Pacifier?
Dirk Diggler

Looks like a dog sh1t taco to me. I wouldn't watch this crap if you paid me.
SuicidalOptimist

I am always confused when you say "Don't watch!", and then post the trailer. >.< I wish Jackie Chan would go back to making movies like "Rumble in the Bronx", or hell, I enjoyed "Shanghai Noon", too! This looks really bad.
Donza.

The trailer must b that fucked up that i cant even watch it 4 sum reason. Must b tellin me sumfin LOL.
Blorg

Hmm, some of the footage from this trailer is from "The Tuxedo", an older Jackie Chan movie.
Joe C.

I like Jacky Chan but come on, does he really has nothing better to do than making these crappy movies? Well, I guess it's a family movie........
Marc21qw

looks awful
Trip

Sorry, Paul Blart was funny.
REAL6

He redeemed himself in The Shinjuku incident!! This looks so bad but he has to eat. Get that major payday!!!!!!
dan_the_man

hold on Alex since when Beethoven was a disasters it was alright
omega

why the hell they used some scenes from The Tuxedo
http://www.popcornmonster.com Dan Geer

I can see how this would look like crap to someone who this movie is NOT catered to. But it is catered towards young kids and families. People in their teens and 20s and perhaps 30s don't have any business watching this movie. It's not for them. But it will probably be perfectly fine for families with young kids.
DJ Sil3nt

I agree I just found it funny how everyone takes your word for it and ignore every other review. Most of the time your reviews are right though... I think ive been disappointed with 1 or 2 after going to see the movie. This movie looks like shit though. Jackie Chan needs to realize he's old and without a younger... blacker... counterpart his movies won't be successful
katie

It is a funny and entertaining movie for the whole family ( kids, parents). It is not made for winning some academic award. Chill out, I like the movie-- Jackie Chen and Lucas till are in it. I am on
Xerxex

I watched the Legend of the Drunken Master a few months ago, so skip this film and watch that!
Baron the Curse

WTF
mary

I will take my 9 years cousin to watch this movie.
Quanah

Oh Alex. It's a kid's movie. Relax.
Meatcarnage

This looks just as good or better than transformers 2.
Magnolia Fan

He's trying to make up for turning down the lead role in The Pacifier. I told him to take it. But no, he had to do Around the World in 80 Days which tanked. Oh and #1. It was my dick that got sucked to get this made. Welcome to Hollywood.
Blorg

Favorite Jackie Chan Movie: Gorgeous Close Second: City Hunter Least Favorite: The Medallion All in all, even with some bad movies out there, I love Jackie Chan
http://moviecrematorium.com Rob

So basically Lions Gate took The Pacifier and replaced the Rock with Jackie Chan. Don't they understand shit is still shit no matter what scent of aerosol you spray to cover it up? All the ranting aside... this is a kid's movie guys. Why are we hating on it? Does an professional brush artist complain when Crayola comes out with a new set of crayons?
Darren

32 it was vin diesel not the rock haha and i was saying the same thing
AprilCoolsDay

Jackie Chan in New Police Story was awesome where a sad version of Jack Chan and his comic relief buddy fight against a Joker-like gang.
http://moviecrematorium.com Rob

#33.... lol woops. Can you blame me for confusing them? lol. I know why I thought that too.... because he is that Tooth Fairy movie.... and looks just as bad.
JurassicClarke

I would never let Jackie Chan with rape glasses watch my children
Salber on Cinema

So far i've been disappoited by every remake of a 80's horror film a.k.a halloweeen, halloween 2, friday the 13th, hitcher, last house on the left, hills have eyes, etc that has infected my local megaplex. I'm actually looking forward to seeing this jackie chan movie and the tooth fairy with the rock, only because it has billy crystal and julie andrews in it. If miley can make all those stupid hanna montana movies, why can't pops try to be in a movie of his own and not continue to mooch off his daughters' "Fame" besides something needs to be in theaters during the off months, not all of us want to sit at home and watch a movie on a computer screen, t.v. or even worse, iphone. i like watching movies with a crowd of oeople even if they don't know how to act in a movie theater.
carl

There is nothing wrong with it, it's an action and comedy film just a typical Jackie Chan movie , I'm quite looking forward to it because it's been about a year since it was made. I'm bound to say I'm looking forward to it because I'm a big Jackie Chan fan.
Timo

I thought Vin Diesel already made this. If Jackie Chan wants to do the same movie atleast make it a chinese version lol
Yaniv

I couldn't agree with you (Alex) more!
Aaron

I think it looks cute. My kids watched the trailer with me and they seemed to enjoy it too. I will definetly go see this one in theaters with them! Of course I still would not mind seeing some Drunken Master as well...but Jackie Chan can change it up every now and then
wHiskey Tango...

Check this out... Looks like #39's on to something. I read somewhere that The Pacifier was first written for jackie chan, but he turned it down and Vin Diesel got it. This flick looks eeriely similar.
Norm Jeffry Jeffry's - aka P-BaG

H O R R E N D O U S
dave13

ahahaha. i'll have to watch it online some day. not worth a ticket or a rental, but its Jackie Chan, and he's generally entertaining. Lopez in this really turns me off. yet, why does this look like The Pacifier so much? I swear the line at the beginning "toughest challenge yet" was also in that trailer. lol.
Ryan

I love Jackie Chan and will see this movie just because of him. But I agree with the masses this is another The Pacifier movie. DOES HOLLYWOOD HAVE ONE CREATIVE WRITER LEFT? It seems like it's all remakes. Can't someone take a piece of paper and right something orginal for once. No wonder why I turned to Anime for creativity. American movies really are starting to blow.
areewwhu?

Did they shoot this in 1989? Seriously, I was so horrified by how cheesy old early 90's this movie looked and felt, I began to almost thinking it might be so bad that people are going to think its a homage to 90's cheese kids movies, and like it. Whe you rewatch it in that mind set and think, "are they re releasing a movie i missed when i was 9?" when you wouldve loved it. ok do you see how much this trailer messed me up?
wils

Im a jackie chan fan...this movie doesnt seem to have any originality, but still watchable..... Pardon me but besides Rush Hour series and Shanghai Noon, Jackie Chan's Hongkong movies are far more entertaining and superior than his holywood movies.
sara

I'm huge fan of Jackie and his movies, but this movie looks really cliche and cheesy. And the teenage girl seems like a really bad actress, she looked like she was trying not to laugh in every one of her scenes.
http://www.neilway.info computer repair

come on guys come on
anonymous

Jackie Chan is tight and still at his humble age of like 50 HE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!