Don't Watch: Trailer for Jackie Chan in The Spy Next Door
There's a reason why this is being dumped in January - because it looks as bad as if not worse than the atrocious Paul Blart: Mall Cop. The Spy Next Door is a new comedy from Lionsgate (wait, I thought they made horror movies?) starring Jackie Chan and, well, a bunch of annoying kids. This looks like it may be one of the worst movies of next year. It's got a bunch of stupid CGI spy toys, the obligatory and racist fight at Benihana, all kinds of cheesy physical comedy and other stupid gags. Really, this is the bottom of the barrel of the comedy world. But just like Paul Blart, it's probably going to a lot of money. Damn you, Lionsgate!
Watch the trailer for The Spy Next Door:
While babysitting his neighbor's children, a normally mild-mannered double agent spy (Jackie Chan) winds up having to fight off secret agents after one of the kids inadvertently downloads a secret code.
The Spy Next Door is directed by Brian Levant, the same guy who brought us such disasters as Beethoven, The Flintstones, Jingle All the Way, Snow Dogs, and Are We There Yet?. The screenplay was written by Jonathan Bernstein (Max Keeble's Big Move, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector), James Greer (Max Keeble's Big Move, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector), and Gregory Poirier (See Spot Run, A Sound of Thunder). Lionsgate is bringing The Spy Next Door to theaters on January 15th, 2010 early next year.
Reader Feedback - 50 Comments
LOL @ everyone listening just cause you say not to watch it. I sat through Friday The 13th cause of how good you said it was.
DJ Sil3nt on Oct 16, 2009
video not available
Kear on Oct 16, 2009
LOL, Alex , you mean to tell me this isn't Billy Ray Cyrus's breakthrough role! Oh my god, this isn't crap this is diareha at it's worse.
dee on Oct 16, 2009
Which is worse, this movie or that stupid tooth fairy movie with the rock?
Shelby on Oct 16, 2009
high five Shelby
Pricetag on Oct 16, 2009
............................................... D: After spending my time looking like that during the trailer, my second thought was: someone sucked some good dick to get this crap made.
Sabes on Oct 16, 2009
Hey! Does anyone remember when Jackie Chan movies were watchable? And dont give me that "its a kids movie" bs. Didnt Vin Diesel already do this movie anyway?
DNote on Oct 16, 2009
i just hope the karate kid remake that jacki is in does not look like this piece of wasted time
Madnezz344 on Oct 16, 2009
I'm a fan of Jackie since I was a kid and since his younger days movies... but for this movie, I think I'll watch this selectively... will just skip to the action sequences hoping there's something new... *sigh*
Miracle Disease on Oct 16, 2009
Didn't they make this already? Is this a sequel to The Pacifier?
Tra la la la la di da on Oct 16, 2009
Looks like a dog sh1t taco to me. I wouldn't watch this crap if you paid me.
Dirk Diggler on Oct 16, 2009
I am always confused when you say "Don't watch!", and then post the trailer. >.< I wish Jackie Chan would go back to making movies like "Rumble in the Bronx", or hell, I enjoyed "Shanghai Noon", too! This looks really bad.
SuicidalOptimist on Oct 16, 2009
The trailer must b that fucked up that i cant even watch it 4 sum reason. Must b tellin me sumfin LOL.
Donza. on Oct 16, 2009
Hmm, some of the footage from this trailer is from "The Tuxedo", an older Jackie Chan movie.
Blorg on Oct 17, 2009
I like Jacky Chan but come on, does he really has nothing better to do than making these crappy movies? Well, I guess it's a family movie........
Joe C. on Oct 17, 2009
Marc21qw on Oct 17, 2009
Sorry, Paul Blart was funny.
Trip on Oct 17, 2009
He redeemed himself in The Shinjuku incident!! This looks so bad but he has to eat. Get that major payday!!!!!!
REAL6 on Oct 17, 2009
hold on Alex since when Beethoven was a disasters it was alright
dan_the_man on Oct 17, 2009
why the hell they used some scenes from The Tuxedo
omega on Oct 17, 2009
I can see how this would look like crap to someone who this movie is NOT catered to. But it is catered towards young kids and families. People in their teens and 20s and perhaps 30s don't have any business watching this movie. It's not for them. But it will probably be perfectly fine for families with young kids.
Dan Geer on Oct 17, 2009
I agree I just found it funny how everyone takes your word for it and ignore every other review. Most of the time your reviews are right though... I think ive been disappointed with 1 or 2 after going to see the movie. This movie looks like shit though. Jackie Chan needs to realize he's old and without a younger... blacker... counterpart his movies won't be successful
DJ Sil3nt on Oct 17, 2009
It is a funny and entertaining movie for the whole family ( kids, parents). It is not made for winning some academic award. Chill out, I like the movie-- Jackie Chen and Lucas till are in it. I am on
katie on Oct 17, 2009
I watched the Legend of the Drunken Master a few months ago, so skip this film and watch that!
Xerxex on Oct 17, 2009
Baron the Curse on Oct 17, 2009
I will take my 9 years cousin to watch this movie.
mary on Oct 17, 2009
Oh Alex. It's a kid's movie. Relax.
Quanah on Oct 17, 2009
This looks just as good or better than transformers 2.
Meatcarnage on Oct 17, 2009
He's trying to make up for turning down the lead role in The Pacifier. I told him to take it. But no, he had to do Around the World in 80 Days which tanked. Oh and #1. It was my dick that got sucked to get this made. Welcome to Hollywood.
Magnolia Fan on Oct 17, 2009
Favorite Jackie Chan Movie: Gorgeous Close Second: City Hunter Least Favorite: The Medallion All in all, even with some bad movies out there, I love Jackie Chan
Blorg on Oct 17, 2009
So basically Lions Gate took The Pacifier and replaced the Rock with Jackie Chan. Don't they understand shit is still shit no matter what scent of aerosol you spray to cover it up? All the ranting aside... this is a kid's movie guys. Why are we hating on it? Does an professional brush artist complain when Crayola comes out with a new set of crayons?
Rob on Oct 17, 2009
32 it was vin diesel not the rock haha and i was saying the same thing
Darren on Oct 18, 2009
Jackie Chan in New Police Story was awesome where a sad version of Jack Chan and his comic relief buddy fight against a Joker-like gang.
AprilCoolsDay on Oct 18, 2009
#33.... lol woops. Can you blame me for confusing them? lol. I know why I thought that too.... because he is that Tooth Fairy movie.... and looks just as bad.
Rob on Oct 18, 2009
I would never let Jackie Chan with rape glasses watch my children
JurassicClarke on Oct 18, 2009
So far i've been disappoited by every remake of a 80's horror film a.k.a halloweeen, halloween 2, friday the 13th, hitcher, last house on the left, hills have eyes, etc that has infected my local megaplex. I'm actually looking forward to seeing this jackie chan movie and the tooth fairy with the rock, only because it has billy crystal and julie andrews in it. If miley can make all those stupid hanna montana movies, why can't pops try to be in a movie of his own and not continue to mooch off his daughters' "Fame" besides something needs to be in theaters during the off months, not all of us want to sit at home and watch a movie on a computer screen, t.v. or even worse, iphone. i like watching movies with a crowd of oeople even if they don't know how to act in a movie theater.
Salber on Cinema on Oct 18, 2009
There is nothing wrong with it, it's an action and comedy film just a typical Jackie Chan movie , I'm quite looking forward to it because it's been about a year since it was made. I'm bound to say I'm looking forward to it because I'm a big Jackie Chan fan.
carl on Oct 18, 2009
I thought Vin Diesel already made this. If Jackie Chan wants to do the same movie atleast make it a chinese version lol
Timo on Oct 18, 2009
I couldn't agree with you (Alex) more!
Yaniv on Oct 19, 2009
I think it looks cute. My kids watched the trailer with me and they seemed to enjoy it too. I will definetly go see this one in theaters with them! Of course I still would not mind seeing some Drunken Master as well...but Jackie Chan can change it up every now and then
Aaron on Oct 19, 2009
Check this out... Looks like #39's on to something. I read somewhere that The Pacifier was first written for jackie chan, but he turned it down and Vin Diesel got it. This flick looks eeriely similar.
wHiskey Tango... on Oct 19, 2009
H O R R E N D O U S
Norm Jeffry Jeffry's - aka P-BaG on Oct 20, 2009
ahahaha. i'll have to watch it online some day. not worth a ticket or a rental, but its Jackie Chan, and he's generally entertaining. Lopez in this really turns me off. yet, why does this look like The Pacifier so much? I swear the line at the beginning "toughest challenge yet" was also in that trailer. lol.
dave13 on Oct 21, 2009
I love Jackie Chan and will see this movie just because of him. But I agree with the masses this is another The Pacifier movie. DOES HOLLYWOOD HAVE ONE CREATIVE WRITER LEFT? It seems like it's all remakes. Can't someone take a piece of paper and right something orginal for once. No wonder why I turned to Anime for creativity. American movies really are starting to blow.
Ryan on Oct 24, 2009
Did they shoot this in 1989? Seriously, I was so horrified by how cheesy old early 90's this movie looked and felt, I began to almost thinking it might be so bad that people are going to think its a homage to 90's cheese kids movies, and like it. Whe you rewatch it in that mind set and think, "are they re releasing a movie i missed when i was 9?" when you wouldve loved it. ok do you see how much this trailer messed me up?
areewwhu? on Oct 28, 2009
Im a jackie chan fan...this movie doesnt seem to have any originality, but still watchable..... Pardon me but besides Rush Hour series and Shanghai Noon, Jackie Chan's Hongkong movies are far more entertaining and superior than his holywood movies.
wils on Dec 25, 2009
I'm huge fan of Jackie and his movies, but this movie looks really cliche and cheesy. And the teenage girl seems like a really bad actress, she looked like she was trying not to laugh in every one of her scenes.
sara on Jan 3, 2010
come on guys come on
computer repair on Jan 17, 2010
Jackie Chan is tight and still at his humble age of like 50 HE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
anonymous on Feb 12, 2010
Sorry, no commenting is allowed at this time.