Eli Roth Almost Directed Baywatch 3-Double-D Before Hostel
This isn't really news, but it's a great story that I just wanted everyone else to hear today. Remember back in July, when it was announced that Paramount was working on a comedic Baywatch movie? Well, apparently a Baywatch movie has been in the works for a long time (not a surprise). Over on Hero Complex, they have a story from Hostel director Eli Roth about how he actually pitched a Baywatch 3-Double-D movie around town that never went anywhere. Now they're making pretty much the movie that he wanted to make by hiring the writer of The Break-Up. And you won't believe who he was going to make this with either.
"After 'Cabin Fever,' I had this meeting at CAA with my agents," Roth said. "They said, 'There's this project and this project, but what do you think about directing "Baywatch"?' And I was like, 'I want to do it! I'll cash in all my credibility!'"
"They said, 'There's no writer.' So I called up my friend Richard Kelly, the man who did a movie called 'Donnie Darko.' I was like, 'Rich, I have a great idea. It'll be ridiculous. We'll make it like a "Simpsons" episode, totally absurd.' And so we went and met with the producers who owned the rights. We said, 'You can say, "From the creators of 'Cabin Fever' and 'Donnie Darko' -- 'Baywatch 3-Double-D'!"'"
And yet, Richard Kelly went on to make Southland Tales and The Box instead, two movies that couldn't be any further from Baywatch. Of course, they didn't end up doing this. "The Internet nerds will go crazy, saying, 'Those dorks just wanted to meet girls in bikinis and they couldn't do it any other way! We supported your weirdo movies and now you sold us out to hang out with a bunch of bimbos!'" I'm sure that's exactly what would've happened. But the story isn't over. "We went on a bunch of pitch meetings and the next thing that happened was DreamWorks wanted it, but they wanted it to be an action movie. They wanted to hire their own writer and director. So all those jokes went out the window. Then I went off to direct Hostel."
So what we've learned from this wonderful story is that there have been at least three different iterations of Baywatch - the Eli Roth Baywatch 3-Double-D version, an action movie version, and the most recent Stripes / Police Academy-style comedy version. I don't know which I'd prefer seeing more? We're obviously getting the comedic one, but I think I would've loved seeing Eli Roth direct it. Maybe then we would've seen some blood spilled on the infamous Baywatch beach! Just a little taste of how crazy Hollywood truly is!