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ShoWest: G.I. Joe Footage was Quite a Cheesy Let Down

by Alex Billington
March 31, 2009

Before I head off to play some poker in Vegas, I've got to write up my reaction to the five minutes (or so) of new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra footage that Paramount showed before a screening of The Soloist. I've got to admit, Paramount has had a bad track record with this footage. Every year they screen one of their movies at ShoWest, and every year they show some preview footage before it. The first year I went it was Transformers, and I didn't like what I saw (at the time), last year it was The Love Guru, I don't think I need to say more. This year it was G.I. Joe, and it was also pretty bad, but maybe I'm jumping the gun?

Essentially, what I saw was a super charged mix of high tech bio suits, lasers, futuristic military vehicles, guns of every type, jumping, dodging, spinning, bio-gadgetry, and whimsical technology that we only see in movies. And this isn't a good thing. Everybody remembers The Mummy Returns, also directed by Stephen Sommers, and how they just threw in everything they could into that to beef it up and it made it so damn cheesy? Some sort of thing here, except that instead of mummies, we've got Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans wearing ridiculous-looking armored suits with helmets that emulate the Iron Man visor.

I don't want to say much more, because this is just my initial reaction, and probably a bit more brutal than it should be. The footage wasn't completely finished either, so I'll save my rant for the actual trailer, whenever it's out. I'm worried that as soon as they start showing more of these armored suits in this, people are going to tear apart this movie. I'm really hoping that this was just unpolished and will still be fun in the end, but as big of a shock as it was to see the Sherlock Holmes trailer, this was even crazier. It really was an adrenaline-fueled hyper-stylized slow-mo action fest. Don't tear apart yet... at least until you see it.

Filed under Hype, Opinions, ShoWest

From around the web:

nate

Channing Tatum is a huge douche, I'll never watch a movie with him.
AbercrombieAndBitch

I want this movie to do well just so Joseph Gordon-Levitt can be introduced to the general masses and get more projects.
http://rtgmediaphiles.blogspot.com Dan W

I can see this movie being really cheesy. But it may be a good popcorn movie and that's about it
nate

As much as I want this movie to be awesome, I know nothing will ever live up to the epic-ness of the GI Joe battles I had with my brothers as a kid... And it will never be as cool as the cartoon was.
Hey Ya

You mean you saw what was in the first trailer? Oh.
DarkPadme

Im with you # 2 I think hes an awsome actor
Phil R.

I agree with #2 & 6, but I'm more focused on Gordon-Levitt being Cobra Commander. I wanna at least SEE the Commander before watching the film.
kindbuddy

I'm w/ #6 he is a good actor.
Ivanhoe Martin

Let's not forgot the cartoon itself wasn't high drama....I still list the GI: Joe animated movie as one of my top 10. If it reminds me of the joy I had watching it as a kid then it'll be good. I still think Transformers sucked ass though.
http://www.theaterhopper.com Tom Brazelton

I'm SHOCKED that a movie prominently featuring Marlon Wayans in head-to-toe body armor was not taken more seriously!
Bluthölle

So this is gonna be special fx fest/action like transformers, but this time with actualy more credible characters (human), tell me again why you dislike this?..
Rabs

Alex, did you get a glimpse of Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander. How did he look? And if not, have you heard anything about his performance of that character?
http://www.wtrbt.com Marty Martin

How did people not see this coming already? I don't understand how people are so easily convinced by one trailer, when if you just read between the lines, you can see the cheesiness from the start.
Due on Maple Street

GI Joe could have grown up, it was an option given that the core audience for this flick are men approaching and in their mid-thirties. They are a counter terrorist organization. They could have taken a less cheesey route. I don't care what the previews look like I swore allegiance to GI Joe hardcore when I was a child. They were my male role model for years given that my biological father was not a poor excuse for a man. I'm going into this expecting to be disappointed, I mean really, f***ing Brendan Frasier as Gung-Ho, Gung-Ho is a cajun man. And what was it I heard, Vin Diesel as Shipwreck, Shipwreck isn't a big muscle head. He's a wiry guy with lots of fight and a navy seal. Gary Sinise should have been approached, Sinise looks like he was based off of the drawings for Shipwreck and his voice is perfect for Hector Delgado. Some of the casting I think they did quite well, Vosloo as Zartan, Quaid as Hawk, the ladies are all smoking hot. But Duke, boooooo. I think at best he'll give a luke warm performance. And why no Bazooka. He was always popular. I could go on, but I won't.
Nick

Where's the "HYPE" on the leak of Wolverine?
jorel

Most of the other headlines I see are praising the footage. What's your deal?
Mr j Money

As an ADAMANT GI Joe fan as a kid in the 80's and reading the comics as a tween in the early-90's, I will withhold judgement as suspend as much disbelief as i can. Hopefully this movie will appease the fan base. That said, I'm not expecting this movie to transcend any age groups or demographics with some wide-level of appeal as this will be a late summer popcorn flick for 10-year-old boys and man-boys from the 80's. I just have my fingers crossed that this isn't a reboot of stealth.
mhm

#2 : well said. joseph gordon-levitt is also one of my favorite actors. i heard that they're talking about casting him for an "Akira" live-action movie alongside Leonardo Dicaprio.
chris vu

I don't think it's going to be cheesy at all! I think it's going to be corny. Just look at the main star. and Marlon Wayans? If five minutes of action says it's going to suck then you're probably right.
Cody

Well the first little 30 seconds werent shit besides bad cgi...I dont expect them to do this at all like its supposed to be.
Lacey

I will go see ANYTHING with Channing Tatum in it. He's freaking HOTTTTTTTTTTT! Sorry, I know that's vapid and shallow, but it's the truth. But putting my obsession with Channing Tatum aside, I look forward to seeing this movie. I have always been a big fan of Dennis Quaid, and I am optimistic that the end result will be a box office hit.
Fisherr

We should wait and seen until a trailer comes out.
SS

Well, one of GI JOE's most famous stories does involve a device that elevates from a Cobra-headed temple to mess up the world's weather. And the laser rifles were standard issue throughout the show. I understand the comics were more serious, but fans of the cartoons didn't always move on to the comics. So....... I must say that "a super charged mix of high tech bio suits, lasers, futuristic military vehicles, guns of every type, jumping, dodging, spinning, bio-gadgetry, and whimsical technology that we only see in movies" is, in fact, in keeping with GI JOE's essence. Were people really expecting a Bourne movie?
solider

"So……. I must say that "a super charged mix of high tech bio suits, lasers, futuristic military vehicles, guns of every type, jumping, dodging, spinning, bio-gadgetry, and whimsical technology that we only see in movies" is, in fact, in keeping with GI JOE's essence. Were people really expecting a Bourne movie?" #23 — couldn't have said it any better.
http://www.dreamlinks.com/ Dating in Toronto

Jury still out. Still a bit soon for judgment.