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Weinsteins Go Back to Scream, Short Circuit, Scanners & More

by Ethan Anderton
September 25, 2009

Hollywood is becoming so formulaic that I think it's time FirstShowing created a sort of MadLibs, so you, the readers, can put news stories together yourself. Sound fun? Of course it does. Today (Variety/The Hollywood Reporter) announced that (Studio/Company) is (remaking/rebooting/revisiting/adapting) the (established Book/Comic Book/Toyline/Film/TV Show) for release next year in (3-D/IMAX/both). We'll even start you off with one. Variety announced that Dimension will be revisiting the Scream franchise, remaking Short Circuit, and revisiting Scanners in 3-D. But stick with me, my story gets better!

Dimension will also revisit the Spy Kids franchise for a fourth installment written by Robert Rodriguez (he'll most likely direct too), make a 3-D sequel to Hellraiser, and continue with the already confirmed remake of An American Werewolf in London. Looks like Christmas came early, and then someone decided that it was the right time for an atomic disappointment bomb! To be fair, there is one project in this batch of announcements that gives me a bit of hope, but I'm holding on by a very thin thread.

Going back to another installment of the Scream franchise, the fourth film in the series will indeed bring back Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Neve Campbell, with negotiations on-going to bring back Wes Craven to direct the ghost face killer flick. This is the one I'm most interested to see, because the Scream films were great slasher flicks with enough tongue-in-cheek humor to force latter horror movies to rid themselves of the predictable cliches ("I'll be right back!"). But its been so long, that I just don't know.

Onto to the new 3-D films heading our way, aside from the announcement of Halloween 3-D, the Weinsteins and Dimension decided that if they were going to unnecessarily make sequels to Scanners and Hellraiser, then they might as well be in 3-D. Ten bucks says that another head will explode in the Scanners sequel, but since it's in 3-D, it'll be way better! I mean if you're going to beat a dead horse you might as well stuff it with dynamite right?

And if that wasn't enough already, they're just going to go ahead and ruin one of my childhood favorites by remaking Short Circuit. Remember when Johnny-5 used to say "No disassemble." Well, Johnny-5, I will disassemble, if only to save your dignity. Unfortunately we were too late to save Ally Sheedy. What's that? You want "input?" Well talk to Bob Weinstein, he's got plenty of stuff he can shove down your throat.

Regarding this onslaught of films from Dimension, Bob Weinstein simply said:

"I'm heading back to my franchise films. These films are our strength, and we are committed to doing them in style."

I'll just assume that Bob misspoke and meant to say "overdoing them in style," and we'll let it go. But Bob also said that, "I'm going back to doing what I do best." And from this line-up, if what Bob does best is shove a dirty rag of recycled garbage down my throat then he's right on the money. Do you feel as dirty as I do?

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Related categories: Casting, Movie News, Opinions

alonso

Short Circuit remake? Whyyy!
Scott

They need to leave An American Werewolf in London alone.
LM

We need to see these remakes tied up in court say for 20 or 30 years or until forgotten they were done ONCE!!! for a reason.
blackgreensoul

As long as Rob Zombie doesn't handle any of these remakes they will all be great!
Seijornec

Ugh. No wonder I find myself going to the DVR before I check out the latest Bluray.
Fed Up With Hollywood

I say we take off and nuke Hollywood from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
Jay

MY GOD!!!!! This is getting sadder and sadder by the day!!!!! Studios are terrified of the low box office numbers, they are terrified of losing the business forever to downloading, pirating and dvds so they say HEY!!!! Let's go back and remake all the movies that were hits before and even make some of them in 3D...that will definitely get the people back to the theaters...... WHAT A CHILDISH IDEA!!! Who in the world wants to see a Short Circuit remake or Sream 4 in 3D????? Sure Neve's rack would look great in 3D but c'mon! What is happening to the industry we all love???!!!!!!!
Number 5

Come on guys, I say we give Short Circuit another try!
Cody

NUMBER 5 IS ALIIIIVE!!....HAHAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!?!?!? HAHAHAHAHHAHA
http://talkbackworld.net Hope

This is actually getting funny now. It was annoying before, but it's now just funny. The thing is, people are wising up and Hollywood are heading for a fall. Their sick business minds will make only lead to failure. Creativity will win through, which is why we must support guys like Cameron and Avatar and Stallone and Expendables but most especially, the independent guys making stuff on the cheap. Once that happens, then all these big studios will burn.
Stryker

Do every one of Cronenbergs movies have to be remade? Were they no all fantastic the first time around?
Lando

are we that mentally dried up that we cant come up with new work????!!!?? I cant believe that films are doing so bad that they can ONLY go back and double dip to make money, cmon..is originality really that dead??? Im starting to see why people have turned to pirating so much, this stuff is worthless, AND i already paid to see these in the theater once already... on a similar note, I watched the one night only theater screening of the Wizard of Oz 70th anniversary and was so blown away to see a classic like that on the big screen it made me think, just RE-RELEASE all these classics rather than basterdizing them with "remakes" (about 80% of the time). Clean them up, remaster the soundtrack...I would gladly pay the price of a ticket just for the luxury of seeing some of these in a theater, WHERE THEY BELONG!! (I wont watch a kurosawa remake on screen but on cable, but I'll watch a REAL Kurosawa film in the theater any time!) #11, THats FCKN RIGHT!!! Cronenburg flics rock AS IS!! people need to grow some balls and watch them for what they are, rocking insane movies!
Tra la la la la di da

Ethan likes Scream. Go figure. He can't write and has the worse taste in movies. Now, don't get me wrong, Scream was good. It was fun, exciting, funny, and a bit new, but the others were simple for money and showed it. It's Hollywood, they can never leave anything alone and here we are again with reboots. And gosh...the whole disassemble thing, wow. roflmao.
chris

scanners, and american were wolf in london will be really good. cant wait to see them i also hear resident evil four is coming soon and then they plan on remakeing it like the first video game and its title is resident evil begins or the begining sounds great though cant wait.
chris

stev alten the loch is going to be a film i hear. man this one will be epic.
Tritia

OK, here's the deal. Yes Hollywood ran out of decent ideas to grab us movies goers, especially the horror fans and sci-fi fans, simply because the best orginal stuff to really bring us in was made in the late 70's to mid 90's. Now if you have seen this whole spectrum then you are about my age or older and probably have kids. With that said, you have also sat through comments from your kids like; "OMG is that huge thing supposed to be a cell phone?" "Did people really dress like that?" Or my favorite "Dang that movie looks old!" Some of the best stuff I the younger crowd just haven't given a chance, so hence the remake. Yes, the die hard fans of the orginals and even the regular fans might think say "Oh my gosh, what have you done!!" But as for my daughter and the kids I teach these remakes have brought new life to the orginal characters/themes and making them something that will endure time better. Do I personally like the remakes? No, but my kids do the original is just "2O2W" (too old to watch) for them. So what's the real difference between them and us? Well when we were kids we were stuck watching what was on TV most of the time. Elvira, Saturday Morning Film Festival, The Late Show, and The Late Late Show; with no real choice, we developed an appreciation of the old and the new. Today with Videos on Demand, cable, Netflix, video stores, online video stores, YouTube, etc. kids today have choices and don't have to "settle" for "old movies" and a remake is new to them. With all of this now said, we can be a little truthful with ourselves. Regardless of our complaints, we will all see the remakes just out of curiosity and to see how bad they botched it up, while hoping they didn't, and if your my age or older blame the money wasted on the movie ticket on your kids desire to see it.
Fed Up With Hollywood

Well, as a counter argument to that; We should drive around Hollywood with a big bus. Force all the stupid movie execs at gun point into the bus and then drive them to a bookstore. Any bookstore. There are thousands more stories to be told! Just pick something you haven't done before! Then, when the kids of today finally grow up (and HOPEFULLY mature), let them go back and discover the old classics when they're more of a mind to accept the 'period' flavor that often even enhanced the films we consider 'classics' today.
rachelreplicant

I think those are great points, but I fear as a culture we lose more and more regard for our past, theres a reason something is classic and I get the remaking point but I also feel like "Make New Cool Stuff with these storytelling tools" and simultaneously "Know your history" rather than disregarding it for its era. There is a lot to be learned from everything that came before us, that all gets lost in the constant "Upgrading" and "Updating" and it ultimately weakens the original. Then again I can see directors making THEIR versions of classics just as the musical world has the practice or "Standards" "Covers" "Remixes" and "Versions" ! so yea.