Taylor Lautner Cast in Universal's Stretch Armstrong Movie
Oh no. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that Taylor Lautner has been cast as Stretch Armstrong in the Brian Grazer-produced adaptation of the Hasbro toy in development at Universal. When it was first reported that this movie was even being made, that was when we started writing about how Hollywood had finally crossed the line with all of these damn toy adaptations. I mean, I thought a Stretch Armstrong movie was a bad idea to begin with, but now with Lautner starring in? I have zero excitement for this project and will be lamenting its eventual release in March 2012. Oh and, as you probably guessed, it's coming in 3D as well.
This was first announced in February last year. Ron Howard's partner Brian Grazer is producing (which is where the rumors about Ron Howard directing came from) and screenwriter Steve Oedekerk (The Nutty Professor, Patch Adams, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty) is working on the script. "In the past two years, Taylor has emerged as a real star at the global box office. He brings the perfect balance of energy and athleticism to the role of an unlikely super hero with a fantastic super power," said Universal chairman Donna Langley. "We couldn't be more pleased that he has agreed to be our Stretch."
Here's the thing that pisses me off about all this. It's like Universal isn't even trying to make good movies anymore. They've realized that Stretch Armstrong is a shitty idea and with someone like Oedekerk writing, they know it'll turn out terrible. But the reason they cast Lautner is because they also know he'll bring in hordes of screaming girls no matter how shitty the movie. Other studios actually try and cast someone who not only had some acting talent (of which Lautner has none) but could also draw crowds. I know Zac Efron gets a lot of crap, but I would've much rather seen him cast in this instead of Lautner. Oh well, I guess?
Stretch Armstrong doesn't have a director yet, or they haven't announced one. Lautner is also set to star in Paramount's Max Steel franchise, so he's got a lot on his plate ahead of him following Twilight. Thoughts?