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Don't Watch: Lindsay Lohan Returns in the First 'Scary Movie 5' Trailer

by Ethan Anderton
December 21, 2012
Source: MTV

Because they're cheap to make, and thus make a decent profit when they hit theaters, there's a Scary Movie 5 coming and it can't be stopped. After all, Lindsay Lohan needs something to do besides Lifetime movies, and this film franchise is pretty much the only one that will have her. This time Black Swan takes the spotlight as the chief film being parodied, but there's plenty more spoofing going on here. As expected, this just looks atrocious, and in a sad turn, actually makes A Haunted House look tolerable. Ashley Tisdale stars and Charlie Sheen, Molly Shannon, Terry Crews, Heather Locklear also appear.

Here's the first trailer for Malcolm Lee's Scary Movie 5, originally from MTV:

Malcolm Lee (Undercover Brother) directs Scary Movie 5 with a script by David Zucker and Pat Proft. Snooty French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Ashley Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her friend Kendra (Erica Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Molly Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk. The film arrives April 12th, 2013.

Filed under Humor, To Watch, Trailers

From around the web:

http://movieviral.com Daniel Koelsch

wow.
DAVIDPD

S-H-I-T
- Duane
  
  L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-L!!!! (wait. Was that Jasmine fuggin Guy?)
  - Andrew Burne
    
    How do you read this? Laughing out loud out loud out loud out loud or laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out loud ?
    - Jericho
      
      laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out laughing out loud
lucy

it could be 'funny' in a so bad it's good who knows..lol
Guest

I used to love this series, but this... this looks awful.
- http://madeofhells.tumblr.com/ Triangle Dimes
  
  Really? You used to love it?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=524487719 Ian Dowsett

the trailer actually looks a lot funnier than all the reviewer bitching suggests. i won't be seeing it, because i was watching this stuff when airplane! and hotshots came out, but in all seriousness this looks about on par with all the stuff that went before. i think people might lighten up, and let older teens who have reached that age enjoy the satire of their generation
joe

Bro free your mind a bit, don't have a stick up your ass
http://twitter.com/lukevalmurray Luke Murray

That Inception joke is beat-for-beat lifted from Idiocracy.
- JL
  
  The number of likes for this comment pleases me. I rarely run into people who have seen it. One of the greatest comedies ever. And it's a shame that the Scary Movie franchise has gone so far downhill, that it's not only stealing jokes from recent movies, but doing it so blatantly.. The first two showed so much promise. *sigh*
astroboy3000

you said Don't Watch.... but I didn't listen....why didn't I listen ???
fucktabliodsometimes

dont watch how bout i want to watch..? just because lindsay lohan has her Prooblems doesn't mean you tabloids can punk her around all the fucking time if you notice alot ppl have problems like her to she just has publicity by you guys.. atleast dont make sound like she the only one with her problems ppl get punched in face in club all the time. and they crash cars to.. soo like give that girl a break every other day its something new with her the stories are mostly not true what happend to girl she punched :0 no more about her
- castingcouch
  
  OK, Linds, whatever you say.
- IamSlave
  
  You mad?
Red

"Actually makes A Haunted House look tolerable" No it doesn't. This trailer is bad but that one was suicide worthy. Heck, the Haunted House trailer makes this look like Django Unchained.
- Ryan Browne
  
  Went and saw This Is 40 last night and "A Haunted House" trailer played beforehand and was greeted with a ton of laughter from people in the theatre. I hate to say it but that movie is probably gonna do pretty well at the box office, this just looks horrible too.
THEBATMAN

why is this even being made?
Guy who comments on things

I dunno why, but I actually expected a few laughs out of this trailer.... nope. This looks awful.
http://www.roamandthink.com/ PBGray

One day some kid is going to watch this film and say, "Wow, that was terrible." Then his dad will pipe up and retort, "I wrote that movie son."
BloodwerK

Why did I click this?
http://mithunonthe.net/ Mithun Divakaran

How could they ruin this franchise? Scary Movie 1 and 3 were hilarious! 2 and 4 were atrocious! This looks like a train wreck starring train wrecks.
Lamar

That actually wasn't that bad. I actually laughed a few times.
IamSlave

The Dark Tower can't get made but this garbage does. F*ck you Hollywood.
http://www.newlaunches.com Dhiram

Youtube link please.
nem

Who the fuck are you to tell us what to watch and what not to watch...?
http://viewster.com/ Viewster

Looks terrible
Jackmooney9

If Amanda Bynes was in this with Lindsey and Ashley it would be a triple trouble maker movie!