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Gozer the Gozerian… good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of Casting Tidbits, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. First up, we recently heard about Channing Tatum starring in Magic Mike, another film from Steven Soderbergh about the actor's teenage years spent as a male stripper. Now Deadline reports I Am Number Four star Alex Pettyfer will play the young version of Tatum, while Tatum himself will actually play the teen's mentor on and off the dance stage.
This is like if that Blue Oyster shit met that Afghan Kush I had - and they had a baby. And then, meanwhile, that crazy Casting Tidbits stuff I had and the Super Red Espresso Snowflake met and had a baby. And by some miracle, those two babies met and fucked - this would the shit that they birthed. First up, if slack-jawed Gary Busey wasn't enough stunt casting for Piranha 3DD, you'll be happy to know that The Weinstein Company just announced that "Baywatch" lifeguard David Hasslehoff has also joined the cast of the tongue-in-cheek horror. Since the fish invade a waterpark this time, it's easy to see why he's needed.
Well, it's Groundhog Day…again. And that must mean that we're up here at Gobbler's Knob waiting for the forecast from the world's most famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us how much more Casting Tidbits we can expect. First up, Deadline reports Alec Baldwin has dropped out of Adam Shankman's musical Rock of Ages. Once confirmed to play Dennis Dupree, the owner of the Bourbon Room, the Sunset Boulevard nightclub in the film, Baldwin has now asked to be replaced. It's not clear why, but Baldwin is also slated to be in Woody Allen's next film, so maybe that's why. More below!
I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. We need Casting Tidbits! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna's purse? First up, Deadline reports Laura Linney (Love Actually) will join Bill Murray in the Roger Mitchell (Notting Hill) directed adaptation of the British radio play Hyde Park on the Hudson. The story follows a love affair between Franklin D. Roosevelt (Murray) and his distant cousin, Margaret Stuckley, who will be played by Linney This all takes place in June 1939 at Roosevelt's upstate New York cottage during the first-ever visit to the United States by members of the British monarchy. More below!
Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, Casting Tidbits attempt to penetrate this castle's walls. But in the end, their greatest weapon… is you. First up, though we previously heard Woody Harrelson had been offered the role, Deadline reports Wes Bentley will play Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane, the man who created the brutal competition within the adaptation of The Hunger Games which pits teens from 12 districts in a televised battle to the death. Many young newcomers have been cast in the film, but Bentley is one of the few adults cast so far along with Elizabeth Banks taking a role as well. More casting below!
You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don't eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of Casting Tidbits. First up, though Amy Adams turned down the role in Rock of Ages after taking the role of Lois Lane in Man of Steel, Deadline reports Malin Akerman will play the journalist writing a piece on rocker Stacee Jax (Tom Cruise) but ends up in bed with him and singing I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner.
Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. Hijack some Casting Tidbits and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good. First up, Variety reports Adam Brody, Rob Corddry, and William Petersen will join Steve Carell and Keira Knightley in Seeking a Friend at the End of the World. Lorene Scafaria wrote the script and will make her directorial debut with the story about a man (Carell) whose wife leaves him as the end of the world nears, prompting him to seek out his high school sweetheart, who yearns to be with him at the end. His neighbor (Knightley) decides to drive him his past love, but the two may have a romance of their own.
This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots…we have Casting Tidbits. First up, we know Larry David landed a role in The Three Stooges, but this revelation of his character was outrageous enough to warrant recalling the news for a small update. Jane Lynch is already playing Mother Superior at the childhood stooges' orphanage and Deadline says David will play Mother Mengele. Yep, it's a Jewish comedian playing a nun. More below!
Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans. And I'm not good with Casting Tidbits. What I am good with is kicking ass and ripping throats. First up, Deadline has word on a couple more cast members joining Logan Lerman and Emma Watson in the adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The fantastic Paul Rudd and "Vampire Diaries" star Nina Dobrev have both joined the cast. Though Rudd's role is unclear at this point, Dobrev will be taking the role of Candace. The coming-of-age story follows a shy and unpopular teenager who describes his life by writing a series of letters to an anonymous person.
I went to one of those obedience places once. It was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my Casting Tidbits. First up, after just hearing that Alec Baldwin and possible Jesse Eisenberg would be joining Woody Allen's next untitled project shooting in Rome, Variety has confirmed both actors in the cast and revealed that Ellen Page (Juno, Whip It) and Penelope Cruz (Volver, Vicky Cristina Barcelona) have also joined the cast. Once again, we have no story details, but the ensemble casts for Allen's projects always bring together the most talented young actors and actresses with some of the greatest Hollywood veterans.
Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a Casting Tidbit? Do you especially think I'm *not* a Casting Tidbit? You didn't even have to think about it, did you? First up, Deadline reports Jay Baruchel will star alongside Robert Pattinson in David Cronenberg's adaptation of Don DeLillo's novel Cosmopolis. While Pattinson plays a financial wiz kid who puts his life in danger by betting his entire fortune against the yen on a tumultous day, Baruchel plays the shy guy who founded the company, and acts as the trader's conscience. Samantha Morton, Paul Giamatti, Juliette Binoche, Mathieu Amalric also star.
But, John. If the Casting Tidbits break down, the Tidbits don't eat the tourists. First up, Variety reports Mae Whitman, one of the seven evil-exes from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World has just landed a role in the big screen adaptation of the Stephen Chbosky's fantastic book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The coming-of-age indie already has Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) and Emma Watson (the Harry Potter franchise) set to lead the film about a shy and unpopular high school student who writes a series of letters to an anonymous penpal. Whitman will play a tattooed vegetarian and Lerman's girlfriend.
If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a Casting Tidbits, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your Casting Tidbit girlfriend. First up, Variety reports Mexican actor/singer Diego Boneta has landed the lead role of aspiring rocker Drew Boley in Adam Shankman's big screen adaptation of the musical Rock of Ages. The director said, "I wanted to bring somebody… who felt literally like he came from 1987." Meanwhile, The Wrap reports Russell Brand is closing his deal to star.
The Grid. A digital frontier. I tried to picture clusters of Casting Tidbits as they moved through the computer. What did they look like? Ships, motorcycles? Were the circuits like freeways? I kept dreaming of a world I thought I'd never see. And then, one day…I got in. First up, Deadline has word that Benicio del Toro has joined Oliver Stone's adaptation of Don Winslow's novel Savages. The story follows a love triangle between two marijuana growers (Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch) and a beautiful female accomplice, but things get complicated when drug cartel thugs (including del Toro) kidnap and hold her for ransom.