Will These Five New Posters and a TV Spot Save G.I. Joe?
by Alex Billington
June 17, 2009
I doubt it. I'm not one for making accurate early predictions, but I fear G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is already headed down the tubes. Even if you were still looking forward to it a few weeks ago, that rumor about the internal struggles probably killed it. And I don't think putting out new posters and a new TV spot are going to make everyone forget how bad it looks or the story about how it probably shouldn't have been directed by Stephen Sommers. But maybe that's just me. Maybe I just think this looks so bad and everyone else thinks it looks good, I don't know. I just don't think these posters are going to make a difference.
Click on any of the five posters above to be taken back to the original source to see all of them in full-size.
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra is directed by big action filmmaker Stephen Sommers, of The Jungle Book, Deep Rising, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and Van Helsing previously. The screenplay was co-written by Stuart Beattie, of Collateral, Derailed, and 30 Days of Night previously, as well as Skip Woods, of Swordfish and Hitman previously. The movie is based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe line of toys that debuted in 1964. Paramount will premiere G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra in theaters everywhere on August 7th this year.
I maybe like the Snake Eyes one. B
Brian on Jun 17, 2009
uhm no...because it's still the same crap looking movie with G.I. Joe's name slapped on it
Caleb on Jun 17, 2009
That 'Baroness' poster is pretty hot! I'm borderline on watching this flick at the theater, but then again that's why I have Netflix.
Spider on Jun 17, 2009
posters are teh ghey. Only one i like is Snake Eye's and i still think its ugly. Too much saturated colors and "fake" looking actions (like shooting). Storm Shadow looks lost.
mr sol on Jun 17, 2009
i agree with Alex. thus movie looked god awful to begin with.
SC on Jun 17, 2009
posters don't fix shit movies they just market them
DoomCanoe on Jun 17, 2009
I like Storm Shadow's Latino Review belt.
Frame on Jun 17, 2009
Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow is the only compelling relationship in the series of old, and the Destro/Cobra Commander/Serpentor stuff was only reasonably interesting. But, at the end of the day, this is only being made because at one time in history G.I.Joe sat happily next to Transformers on the morning cartoon A-list. Problem. The Transformers lore was coddled, fans were involved, and the best of the best were in place to write, direct, and produce. G.I.Joe was given no such treatment, and would only have worked if they'd let the camp come through with NO FREAKING BLACK SUITS OR UNNECCESARY "DARK" SUBJECT MATTER. What a joke. Huge pass.
Mark on Jun 17, 2009
I'm a young screenwriter so... Will see it... Will laugh at it... Will study it... Will never write a movie like it.... Unless I want to woo Big Studios Execs for my first studio movie *evil villain laugh*
Lazarus on Jun 17, 2009
Jeez... as a non-American, these posters just seem to reflect American foreign policy too much... Bang, bang, scythe, scythe... America to the rescue... 'fuck yeah!'
Stan on Jun 17, 2009
Yet another Snake Eyes poster where his lame molded-plastic mouth is skillfully (or not so skillfully) obscured. At this point, they'd have to leak news that the newest cut contains a ten minute long Baroness nude scene for me to even bother seeing this in theaters.
Pete the Geek on Jun 17, 2009
The Snake Eyes poster is badass. Unfortunately this movie is going to be horrible. The only way I will pay money to see this poor film is if nothing else is out during that week and if I am really really really bored out of my skull. We will be joking about this film years from now if we don't forget about it a month after it comes out.
Brandon on Jun 17, 2009
I think that this movie has potential to be just a really big dumb action flick. I for one can appreciate that sometimes. Sometimes when its too dumb I can't tolerate it but I think this one still has a chance to be reasonably decent. I don't think this will be huge and be the next transformers or the next big franchise but I think it might be fun to watch.
????? on Jun 17, 2009
How do posters save a movie?
Tom on Jun 17, 2009
" Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me. " No matter how hard they try, you can't hide the fact that its just not going to be as thrilling on all levels that we want it to be. Don't know if that's just because of shitty execution; Don't know if its just something that can't be translated on a deep level that we've known it for in the last decade... or is it two? So, with people knowing GI Joe for so long, they're(we're) going to have those expectations built. Seems at this point we're all just waiting to hear it fall. Tho I think the bottom two posters are cool.
Nick Sears on Jun 17, 2009
Plus I think the LatinoReview belt buckle is badass!
Nick Sears on Jun 17, 2009
Wow ..it's cool .
led panel on Jun 17, 2009
As bad as I think its going to be I will still go watch it .......................... Yo!!!!!!!!!!!! Joe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and knowing is half the battle
SHANEDAV on Jun 17, 2009
The first one looks mass effectish...
Dean on Jun 17, 2009
#18 In this economy, saving is half the battle.
Brandon on Jun 17, 2009
I can't wait to see the ninja battle. I wish I didn't have to sit through all of it, but like Star Trek, it may take a few shots, but I'll block out the fact it's called GI Joe and think of it as some dumbass action movie. I might be able to appreciate as that.
w00t!!! on Jun 17, 2009
I'm really tempted to see it especially since I watched the cartoons after school and Saturday mornings when I was a kid. I'll check it out during the matinee to save on the battle.
DJ Sid on Jun 17, 2009
nothing can save this
harrison on Jun 17, 2009
#10 G.I. Joe being the AMERICAN HERO, I would hope so.
mxr5150 on Jun 18, 2009
I cannot understand the negativity voiced here, particularly by Mr Billington. Sure, you can't grasp the story from this trailer, but then what trailer worth its salt gives you the whole story? I would certainly prefer something like this than one that gives me the whole movie, rendering the act of going to the cinema pointless. Personally, I think the look, effects and direction here look pretty damn impressive. It almost feels as though Mr Billington has a personal issue with the film. Can't understand why and we'll probably never know. As for the rest of you easily-led naysayers, you've got Christopher Eccleston (arguably the greatest Doctor Who) as the villain, and while Stephen Sommers may not be renowned as a director of substance, Sienna Miller in leather is more than worth the price of admission. And to the 'young screenwriter' who goes by the name Lazarus, you'd do worse than to emulate some of the works of the screenwriter Stuart Beattie; creator of the impeccable 'Collateral'.
DC on Jun 18, 2009
Channing Tatum looks like Commander Shepard in the Video Game "MASS EFFECT" !!
GM on Jun 18, 2009
I still can't believe they made this film.
d1rEct on Jun 18, 2009
What's with the stupid suits. Did we really need some gimmicky stupid super human suits to make this movie? Even as a cartoon, it stood pretty well on it's own without stupid super human suits (well... there may have been an episode or one character who had one... but I don't think there was.) Lord knows Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow don't need no stinkin' super suits. Seriously, it's like an excuse to bump up the CG to ridiculously ludicrous levels, and everything else down to "straight to DVD" levels. I may still plop down some cash... just to see what other terrible injustices pass for a GI Joe movie these days.
bozoconnors on Jun 18, 2009
Snake Eyes is the best. First: Because he looks badass Second: He Doesn't talk at all which makes him more badass. Snake Eye for me FTW
Fisherr on Jun 18, 2009
the poster look really nice don't get me wrong, photoshop is such a wonderful program. But the movie i don't really feel it, i'm just going to wait for it on DVD.
Bathan on Jul 6, 2009
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