Taylor Lautner Cast in Universal's Stretch Armstrong Movie
Oh no. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that Taylor Lautner has been cast as Stretch Armstrong in the Brian Grazer-produced adaptation of the Hasbro toy in development at Universal. When it was first reported that this movie was even being made, that was when we started writing about how Hollywood had finally crossed the line with all of these damn toy adaptations. I mean, I thought a Stretch Armstrong movie was a bad idea to begin with, but now with Lautner starring in? I have zero excitement for this project and will be lamenting its eventual release in March 2012. Oh and, as you probably guessed, it's coming in 3D as well.
This was first announced in February last year. Ron Howard's partner Brian Grazer is producing (which is where the rumors about Ron Howard directing came from) and screenwriter Steve Oedekerk (The Nutty Professor, Patch Adams, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty) is working on the script. "In the past two years, Taylor has emerged as a real star at the global box office. He brings the perfect balance of energy and athleticism to the role of an unlikely super hero with a fantastic super power," said Universal chairman Donna Langley. "We couldn't be more pleased that he has agreed to be our Stretch."
Here's the thing that pisses me off about all this. It's like Universal isn't even trying to make good movies anymore. They've realized that Stretch Armstrong is a shitty idea and with someone like Oedekerk writing, they know it'll turn out terrible. But the reason they cast Lautner is because they also know he'll bring in hordes of screaming girls no matter how shitty the movie. Other studios actually try and cast someone who not only had some acting talent (of which Lautner has none) but could also draw crowds. I know Zac Efron gets a lot of crap, but I would've much rather seen him cast in this instead of Lautner. Oh well, I guess?
Stretch Armstrong doesn't have a director yet, or they haven't announced one. Lautner is also set to star in Paramount's Max Steel franchise, so he's got a lot on his plate ahead of him following Twilight. Thoughts?
Reader Feedback - 36 Comments
Well, a good thing to take out of this is that they didn't go into the bodybuilding circus to get the next Ahhhh-nold. Looking at that toy that could have easily have happened.
PJ on Feb 5, 2010
Stretch Armstrong movie......? ..... D:
Sabes on Feb 5, 2010
I'm Taylor lautner, and I only have one hair style.
Twilightisgay.com on Feb 5, 2010
When is that Slinky movie coming?
Ronnie Dobbs on Feb 5, 2010
Xerxex on Feb 5, 2010
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is THE stupidest production I have ever heard of, and that is a tough feat. I am COMPLETELY disgusted by this and at the same time rolling on the floor laughing at how STUPID this is. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha The part that floored me was the last sentence of the first paragraph, totally hilarious!
Scott McHenry on Feb 5, 2010
they know its going to suck thats why you would cast a teen heart throb to target the teenage girl audience with no taste
cyrus the virus on Feb 5, 2010
shark boy back in action
cyrus the virus on Feb 5, 2010
Riight, how about he chooses some challenging role, because at the moment, i don't think he is a good actor at all. He needs roles that is something besides a werewolf or a damn superhero. Also why are they even making this movie. Ah Hollywood anything for a quick buck.
Mony on Feb 5, 2010
I hope Zac Efron knows better than to get involved in crap like this.
Amanda on Feb 5, 2010
God help us all...
LastSaneMan on Feb 5, 2010
Dan W on Feb 5, 2010
germs on Feb 5, 2010
For once I kinda hope the Mayans were right about 2012.
Chuck Norris on Feb 5, 2010
I'd really have to strain my brain to come up with a worse movie idea.
FancyMonocle on Feb 5, 2010
I'm interested to see how they turn Taylor Lautner into a 3-D stretchy superhero! But, that said, and as would be expected, Chuck Norris wins the best comment award. 🙂
Darren Albert on Feb 6, 2010
Shut up you bunch of whiny snot-nosed grubby fanboys. This movie is being made for children to enjoy, not you bunch of dip twit twenty-somethings who don't have a life outside of Avatar and Kick Ass movies. Morons.
Scarface on Feb 6, 2010
@Scarface I'm guessing from the name you chose that you're not really a "movie person." Maybe if you were, you'd be a little more concerned with the direction Universal is heading in with its productions.
Elroy on Feb 6, 2010
Aside from Focus Features, I truly think Universal has simply stopped trying to make good movies. Apart from a handful of projects (Green Zone, Robin Hood, Adjustment Bureau), Universal has almost nothing worthwhile on its slate between now and 2012. At least Paramount and WB actually try to make good movies. With projects like this clogging their pipeline, no wonder Universal is on the rocks.
Corran Horn on Feb 6, 2010
@Elroy. Ignore Scarface. He's just the typical internet guy who exists on any sort of website forum/comment thingydoo. He comes in every once in a while and insults/curses people out for their opinions and then walks away thinking he actually made a point. What he forgets is that, like him, I too have an opinion. And if I want to bitch about how horrible hollwood must be to actually sign off on this shitty idea then I can! >:O! Oh wait, he can't understand that, let me speak in his language. Shut your mouth you whiny little arrogant jerk. This site was made for enjoyment and opinions, so take your teen-something ass who doesn't appear to have a life other than insult people through the internet out of here. Moron. ;P
Sabes on Feb 6, 2010
Two words for this whole project: Who Cares?
Professor Brian O'Bilvion on Feb 6, 2010
If anyone should play Stretch Armstrong, it can only be done by Christopher Walken. COME ON! Who wouldn't want to see Christoper Walken with arms and legs stretching and flopping around the world? "WOW! I'M ELASTIC!" And then he'll digest himself and blow up.
WOW! on Feb 6, 2010
Taylor Lautner + Stretch Armstrong + 3D = The perfect storm that hopefully will put an end to all these manufactured boy toy tween idols, lame toy movies and this over rated 3D fad ... Oh, please, please, please, please, please!!
Hattoro Hanzo on Feb 6, 2010
I just laugh at the way the website owner posts this crap, admits its crap, that he actualy couldnt care less about it, and still, posts it, and yet, here we are arguing how bad it is.. Seriously, if you think something is that crap, dont post it, simple, it only generates fights, and ignorant people posting stupid out of context CRAP. I know you want to make movement on the website, but cmon..i love a lot of your news but from time to time theres this one post that is just complete crap, and this time you even admit it...
evilbunny on Feb 6, 2010
Evilbunny this is a movie website, therefore Billington, Tenney, Anderthon, and friends post all the good and the bad, and that's the point of this site we argue, disagree, and rant about the things we think are legally retarded like Taylor Lautner as Stretch Armstrong.
Xerxex on Feb 7, 2010
This movie is going to suck sooooooooo hard.
iPhone Mafia Wars: 9003390587 on Feb 8, 2010
Scars quote: " This movie is being made for children to enjoy" Then why in the Hell would Universial cast a non-actor in the lead that generates the teenage soft porn crap that is Twi-"lite" ? So in a simple way to put it Scar......... NO IT IS NOT BEING MADE FOR CHILDREN TO ENJOY! It is for Universial to try and generate 21 to 35 million at the box office because a bad actor reflects the times for the studio. And this little hack will NOT look good in a blonde wig for the part
Clover on Feb 8, 2010
Bad idea, but anyway i could make him in any ways if he want to...
paulina on Feb 9, 2010
as long as he wears the little black shorts for the WHOLE movie... it's alright with me... i don't even care if he can act...
Sarah-Janeey on Feb 10, 2010
ive seen taylor in a blonde wig he looks well funny in it anyway like loads people hav said its meant for children im gonna see the film and see how he looks steched and in 3d itll be funny oh and he is an amazing actor
Tilly on Feb 20, 2010
I don't have a problem with Taylor Lautner being cast as Stretch Armstrong. I think he did an amazing job in both Twilight and New Moon. Besides that, every small time actor has to start somewhere, and EVERY actor has their fair share of crappy movies. The Rock in Tooth Fairy, and Jackie Chan in The spy next door, and Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. I don't see what the big deal is. Bottom line you're either going to see this movie or not. I personally don't see why everyone has to give a reason as to why they aren't going to watch it.
Amy on Feb 22, 2010
just leave the guy alone!
busi on Mar 13, 2010
This is a funny site. You people make me laugh. I liked Mr. Lautner as Jacob Black and so far that's all so I am curious to see if he can really act. I do think that this movie should not be made for the simple fact that it will be so weird to see how they make him stretch. It may look cornier that Mr. Fantastic in the fantastic 4 movies. Yikes...maybe not the best move if he wants to show his haters that he really does have talent. Or maybe it really is about the money. I think he should stay away from films like this and that other one MAx Steel until he has better established career as an action star. He is also attached to a couple other "Normal" action flicks Cancun and Adduction which in my opinion might give him more Hollywood "Street Cred" than doing a movie about an old Hasbro toy hero who even I had to Google.
Ari Knight on Mar 16, 2010
What the hell have you guys been smoking?? And what the hell is this websites problem?? He's just an actor, for gods sake, not a friggin terrorist so suck up your thoughts, cos no one gives a SHIT what you say!!!! Taylor 4evr <3 <3 GO ECLIPSE!
Lavagirl on Jul 5, 2010
i aagree with lava girl ! the rest of you just sound like moronic old people who are goin through bad midlife crisises and are super jealous of taylor lautner . he has no acting talents ? really ? did all of you miss the twilight movies or cheaper by the dozen ? besides even if you were right (which you aren't by any mean) he's 18 and he's already made at least 5 movies and been in pleanty of tv shows and is in the process of making even more movies so he's gonna get better . i promise you tht bradd pitt and tom cruise did not pop out as amazing actors so just keep the bulls**t to yourself . k ? thanks & have a nice day (=
yourelame on Aug 2, 2010
Well you obvs dont know much bout acting skills then do you ???
Hollielou on Feb 19, 2011
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